Saturday, September 29, 2007


"I'm really having a very nice time hanging out with you," he said as his cock slid softly and slowly in and out of her warm, inviting cunt.

She licked her lips and clamped her legs tightly across his back, thrusting him ever-deeper inside her glistening pussy. "I'm glad we didn't call this a 'date'. It's more relaxing just to hang out sometimes," she cooed gently as his balls grazed lightly against her, "and not get anchored in the weighted terminology of the past."

He picked up speed and agreed wholeheartedly, "So casual, so non-threatening." She raised her ass slightly, her pussy lips burning as he worked it. "Honestly. I don't get to talk to that many people on this sort of intellectual level," he said as his bulbous cock pushed deeper and harder into her sopping and steaming cunt, "Why complicate things emotionally?"

His teasing tongue unfurled to lick her firm tits. She quivered and her long nails dug violently and mercilessly into his broad shoulder blades. "This is so different than what I'm used to. Most of the guys I meet are dumb alpha-male jocks who are only interested in sex," she moaned as he rammed his cock all the way home, nearly collapsing from the force of the thrust.

"Oh! We should definitely hang out again! Let me. . .give you. . .my e-mail address!" he groaned right before pulling out and shooting his hot and salty load all over her alabaster cheeks.

Her face was now a cum-colored canvas. She was completely spent, her damp thighs numb and lightly spasming. She had never been ridden by a cowboy like this before.

He reached across the nightstand to grab a cigarette. "You want me to get you a towel?"

A bead of jizz trickled slowly from the tip of her nose to rest on her upper lip. Suddenly, things became awkward. Oh no, she thought, he wants to get me a towel. Why do things always have to get so serious? "I'm perfectly capable of getting a towel for myself."

"I don't mind," he said as he arose from the bed, still dripping, "I just like to be chivalrous."

Chivalry? Red Flag, she thought as she licked the cum from her lips, why is he reading things into this? I know I haven't been leading him on.

She turned her soggy face away from his oppressively sincere gaze.

"It's a bad time to fall for me," she said as she retained her long sought-after independence.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

You Are Nothing

You are not the gays of the Stonewall Rebellion. You are not the fighting suffragettes of the 20s. You are not the Jews that hold sacred the memory of the Holocaust. You no longer decry the use of nuclear weapons, you care not a jot about religious bigotry, you are perfectly fine with theocratic rule.

You prove all of this with letters to the editor:

"Ahmadinejad at Columbia

"Editor--The U.S. does not exist in an impenetrable bubble, nor are our government's opinions shared by the entire world."

So far so good. 9-11 proved this already. As 7-7 did for England and 3-11 did for Spain. Some cultures have a problem with different opinions.

"With this in mind, I applaud Columbia University for granting President Ahmadinejad a platform on which to share with us a world view that is very different than the majority of the U.S., but is not unusual in other parts of the world."

Parts of the world where corrupt regimes lord over billions of oil dollars, yet for some reason are unable to provide economic and educational opportunities for their own people? Parts of the world where globalized victimhood is a national identity? You mention "us"; are you saying that you've never experienced this world view before? Or have you always distrusted Western motives and were just waiting for a Holocaust-denying and homosexual-murdering regime to validate your postmodern liberalism?

"Although I do not agree with most of the views he shared, it is important to hear and acknowledge them nonetheless."

Which views are important to hear and acknowledge? Be specific in trying to distance yourself from real tyranny. Are you referring to the view that there are no homosexuals in Iran? That the validity of the Holocaust needs to be re-examined? That he should be allowed to have a nuclear weapon just because we have nuclear weapons? Or is it just because he also thinks that 9-11 might have been an inside job?

"Neither the U.S. nor Israel--"

First mention of Israel. I was waiting for it. You had me worried you were sleeping on the job.

"--is loved internationally, as Ahmadinejad made clear many times, and understanding this is the first step toward peaceful diplomacy in the Middle East and beyond."

Well, there's a lot of people in America and Israel that don't care for the Islamic Republic of Iran. Maybe if Ahmadinejad understood this, we could work towards peaceful diplomacy. However, the ball is in our court because Ahmadinejad has darker skin and speaks Arabic.

"I thought that I was going to hear some shocking remarks from the Iranian President's speech at Columbia University."

Without a spine, you can't feel shock. Had you one, you would have heard denials of homosexual rights, the Holocaust, 9-11, and tolerance of Western liberalism. This isn't religious morality I'm espousing. You don't need to believe in God. You just need to believe in your own eyes and ears.

"Instead, my shock and anger came from listening to Columbia's President Lee Bollinger. His rude and inappropriate speech made America look crude and base. That is not how guests are treated, no matter their personal views."

Well, I would have volunteered to suck his cock, but you can get killed that way:

Now that's what I call rude and inappropriate.Tsk! Tsk!

"The Columbia 'ambush' of Mr. Ahmadinejad will create sympathy for the Iranian president throughout the world. . ."

Especially sympathetic will be cowards like yourself who wish to avoid "rudeness" and "inappropriateness" at any price.

"Despite the abhorrent behavior of Bollinger, there was some good that came out of the event. Ahmadinejad's speech was well received by most of the young audience."

Yes, this gives me great hope for our future as a civilization. Did it ever occur to you that today's young audiences might very well be stupid?

"And in spite of all the propaganda spewed by Bollinger--"

Here's some of Bollinger's "propaganda"(which he cleverly disguised as legitimate questions in an open-debate forum): "We at this university have not been shy to challenge the failures of our own government to live by our values, and we won't be shy about criticizing yours. Let's then be clear at the beginning. Mr. President, you exhibit all the signs of a petty and cruel dictator. And so I ask you, why have women, members of the Baha'i faith, homosexuals and so many of our academic colleagues become targets of persecution in your country?"

"--the audience and the Iranian president actually connected on an intellectual level."

Is it ever possible for a speaker and an audience to connect on the level of shared stupidity? If an entire German nation threw their lot in with Hitler, would those numbers reflect intellectualism or baseness?

"The applause by the students given to Ahmadinejad shows some people were actually willing to listen and learn from the exchange."

Are you saying that every time somebody gets applause, they must have had something valid to say? Well, well. . .

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Good on you, Bollinger, good on you!

When I heard the news that Ahmadinejad was invited to speak at Columbia University, I just assumed it was another exercise in the multicultural interfaith-dialogue horseshit that pawns itself off as higher education in the postmodern world of relativism.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the very guy that invited him to speak, university president Lee Bollinger, took the opportunity that he helped orchestrate to pin the slimy fucker to the mat.

Good on you, Bollinger, good on you!

I feel terribly optimistic today, for I find myself re-examining the motives for the invitation in the first place. I now imagine Bollinger being surrounded daily by spoiled college students and overpaid faculty members convinced that a) 9-11 had nothing to do with Islam, b) Americans live in a police state, and c) George Bush is the single greatest threat to worldwide freedom.

Perhaps Bollinger knew the truth behind this seemingly impenetrable layer of academic bullshit. Perhaps he knew the most efficient way to expose it to a brainwashed student body was to invite a real dictator to speak and then fire relentless hardballs on the topics of human rights and Holocaust denial. Regardless of his motive, Bollinger did the job that "60 Minutes" couldn't do--ask meaningful questions of a dark-age baboon who will quite likely obtain access to a nuclear weapon within the next few years unless we can take off our diapers and act like adults once more.

Even today's Chronicle had very few kind words left for Ahmadinejad after the bout with Bollinger in which the president of Iran claimed, among other nonsense, that there were no homosexuals in Iran (failing to mention this statistic may be true only because he had them all killed). I predict more and more people will flip in the coming months; the absurdist illusion of not being able to "tell the difference" between Bush and Ahmadinejad will be exposed as sheer cowardice masquerading as free speech.

Yes. I am optimistic today. I predict a slow awakening, a necessary migration out of relativism and into truth. Soon we will rediscover the cultural building blocks of "better" and "worse". Western self-flagellation might very well cease in the near future as continued criticism of America will come to be regarded as passe. Suddenly there will be another legitimate enemy in our sights.

We couldn't see him before because we weren't getting the news. We were getting speculation. We weren't sure who the "real enemy" was.

Here he is again:

Good on you, Bollinger, good on you!

Friday, September 21, 2007

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Monday, September 17, 2007

I Was Born With a Woman's Tongue

I didn't mean to make you cry
and slash your wrists so you could die,
but the things I say aren't always fun
cause I was born with a woman's tongue.

No brute strength or force of will
would knock you down from High-Horse Hill,
but with piercing spite, my words have stung
for I was born with a woman's tongue.

O! The games well-known to the fairer sex
play'd to frustrate, confuse, and perplex
are the arts and crafts held dear by one
like I who was born with a woman's tongue.

O! Sweet Sister! We know well that itch
to hide the girl and reveal the bitch
and while I'm no one's daughter, but some one's son,
still I was born with a woman's tongue.

O! The scars you'll bear, the wounds you'll know,
the pains you'll suffer, the hurt that grows
from the tips of arrows so finely flung
from the lips of a man with a woman's tongue!

I know your race. I've studied you well.
"Guard your secrets": the moral of this tale.
You've given me rope, but it's you I've hung
for I was born with a woman's tongue.

How fluent in this language can I be?
So well-versed and knowledgeable, me?
'Tis no great feat, as in this song I've sung--
I was just born with a woman's tongue.

Friday, September 14, 2007

18 Months Later: Remembering The Lessons Of Duke-Lacrosse

This is what happens when you give him your phone number, ladies:

This is what he means by a "romantic evening indoors":

This is what he really wants to do when he says, "You sure got perty hair. Can I touch it?"

But now there's hope:

At the Berkeley Women's Center, you can learn more about being a woman, how women are different from men, what men do to hurt women, and masturbation. Yes, the Duke-Lacrosse players might have been "legally" innocent. But let's not forget, ladies, that the laws were made by men.

To find out more about the Berkeley Women's Center, remove your clothes and stand in front of a mirror all day and earn a college degree.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


Why would you like to see a citywide smoking ban in public parks, small businesses, and individual homes?

Because I do not believe in freedom of choice.

Why do you think it's unfair for English to be a required language in American schools and businesses?

Because I do not believe in majority rule.

Why do you chant at passers-by?

Because I do not believe in intellectual debate.

Why do you arbitrarily designate certain speech as "hateful"?

Because I do not believe in the free exchange of ideas.

Why do you say that hip-hop is today's Shakespeare?

Because I do not believe in art.

Why do you say that there is a unilateral and fixed consensus amongst the scientific community on the topic of global warming?

Because I do not believe in science.

Why do you say that George Bush equals Hitler?

Because I do not believe in history.

Why do you say that America is the one creating the terrorists?

Because I do not believe in individuality.

Why do you say that 9-11 was an inside job?

Because I do not believe in the obvious.

Why are you a relativist?

Because I do not believe in anything.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

May I Have My Balls Back, Please?

If you're in the mood to be culturally castrated on this, the six-year anniversary of 9-11, pick up a copy of today's San Francisco Chronicle and you'll see a nifty front-page story by Julian Guthrie: "For some on anniversary, it's time to move on."

Oh, yes.

Let's move on.

It's oh-so-wearying out here in San Francisco where everybody is vehemently anti-radical Islam and won't shut up about the horrors of 9-11.

Give me a fucking break. What exactly should we "move on" from? Seems like San Francisco "moved on" quite some time ago. Hell, everybody I meet here thinks that George Bush orchestrated 9-11 anyway. If that isn't "moving on", I don't know what the fuck is. They've "moved on" from sanity to insanity, practicality to utopianism, a hint of dignity and self-worth to communal groveling and self-abasement.

Here's how you start a non-story like this: "There will be the long recitation of the names of the dead, the moments of silence, the images of planes hitting the World Trade Center. . ."

My lord. Sounds almost as tragic as 9-11 itself. Whatever shall we do? Let's take some expensive anti-depressants, do some yoga, and read on:

"The global goodwill that America engendered after Sept. 11 has been tarnished by wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. The American flags that were ubiquitous after the terrorist attacks have been put away. America is at war. Osama bin Laden, who released a video message Friday for the first time in three years, remains at large."

First, I'm not sure that you could call it a "global goodwill" that America engendered after 9-11--unless you're willing to subtract celebrating Palestinians and Lebanese from the global community.

And no, I don't need to "understand" the people in this photo. They are baboons. I don't care how they got that way. You see the man with the child on his back holding an AK-47? We didn't make that happen. And if you think we did. . .well, you're a baboon also.

Sure, countries whose citizens have largely progressed beyond barbarism reached out to America. But I'll let you in on a little secret about radical Islam: It's always fucking hated us, you dizzy cunt. But then again, if your history is only 6 years old, you can pretty much make it up on the spot.

And if Osama bin Laden is still at large--well, I guess the practical thing to do would be to find the fucker and kill him. And then, after we publicly hang him and gut him like the pig that he won't eat, that would be a convenient time to "move on".

But then again, most folks around here have already "moved on". Or they never "move" at all. They just kind of sit around and when the time comes--like the six-year anniversary of 9-11--they roll over and take it up the ass at knife point in articles that observe:

"There are also many who have Sept. 11 fatigue and see it as a good time to 'turn the page'."

September 11th fatigue? Is that the same thing that the soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan are suffering from? Or is this yet another fucking instance where worthless cowards are working overtime to put themselves on the same spectrum of courage as real heroes?

Gee, I can't really sit around and badmouth the soldiers or trivialize the impact of 9-11 if I'm writing all this in an air-conditioned office here in the sanctuary of the West. I think I'll make up a disease and give it to myself.

Oh, mommy, I can't go to the memorial today! I think I'm coming down with September 11th fatigue!

Fuck this. I'm taking the word "liberal" back. I'm reclaiming it. These guys aren't liberal anymore. I'm a liberal. In order to be a liberal, you have to believe in something. And the continued negation of the truth doesn't count. And the truth is there is no such thing as September 11th fatigue. And if there is, it's just latent guilt for recognizing one's own moral inferiority.

And who exactly is saying "turn the page"? Well, how about Charles Figley, a psychologist and director of the Traumatology Institute at Florida State University?

Interesting that a San Francisco Chronicle staff writer felt the need to go all the way to the other coast for the following drivel:

"People tend to need memorials and anniversaries if they have not fully 'worked through' the experience. . .I think when people attend these memorials or tune in or read about it, there is a hope that by doing so it will make things better."

That's not why I need memorials and anniversaries. I didn't know anybody who died on 9-11. It wasn't personally traumatic to me. No, I need memorials and anniversaries because I need something to believe in besides dickheads like Charles fucking Figley. Give me a flag and the concept of nation (for better or worse) over the likes of Charles fucking Figley anyday.

What are you saying, Charles Figley? That I'm not "healthy" if I go attend a memorial? That if I want to be a "balanced person", I should subscribe to your bullshit academic cynicism? Fuck you, Charles Figley and the cunt that gave you space in the paper.

Whatever happened to the days when the hippie radicals were going to rise up against the bourgeois pigs? Because that's exactly what Charles fucking Figley is. A highly-paid bullshit artist who makes his living telling you that everything you believed in was wrong.

He goes on: "People should not be ashamed of not having a need to remember or participate in a memorial. . .It's natural that other things come up, that people have something new that is of greater immediate concern. That's the way life is."

That's why they won't rise up against the likes of Charles Figley. He's telling them exactly what they want to hear. It's ideal. You don't have to do anything, you don't have to believe in anything, you don't have to sacrifice anything. Charles fucking Figley will absolve you of all guilt. Go ahead and spend, shop, and vegetate. . .it's not your fault if you don't care. Charles fucking Figley doesn't care. And look at him--he's the director of the Traumatology Institute at Florida State University! You remember trauma, don't you? War veterans used to get that. Now it's for everybody. Everybody has trauma. And it's allllll equally important.

Even those who suffer from "September 11th fatigue".

Let's give more money to Charles fucking Figley. He'll make you feel unashamed for being a worthless, spineless, culturally-flatlined slab of nothingness. Give your brains to him as well. He'll do the thinking for you. He'll skull-fuck you so hard you'll be convinced that every belief system you were raised with is a symptom of a deeper pathology. Finally, give him your beliefs, passions and courage--he'll show you that your morality is immorality and then supply the new morals to fill the void: inaction, complacency, and smugness.

Oh, and Charles Figley? Why don't you go global with your message and get on a fucking plane to Iran, Iraq or Afghanistan and tell some of these radical Islamist groups that people shouldn't have to "feel ashamed" for not bowing down in prayer five times a day, not converting to Islam, or not strapping explosives to their children?

Because you're a decadent overpaid cunt, that's why. You're nothing but a fucking businessman in the end, Charles Figley. A corporate pig who's going to say the safest things involving the least risk for the most profit. Let's wise up, everybody, and connect the fucking dots.

You're being had.

In a big way.