Tuesday, July 25, 2006


Dear Mr. Swarcinigger,

My name is Liliana Valenzuela and I am an senior at Richmond High School in Richmond.

As a student, i am always learning new things. Rescently, I learned that I did not pass the standerdized test which will allow me to gradate and wear a cap and gown and be with all my friends who did passed the standerdize test.

What is my point., yhou ask.? Mr. Swarciniger, my parents came to this country on a boat. I don’t know why, we are from mexico. But that is neither here nor then.

What is a standerdize test? I was told by a good techer, Mr. Juan Enrico Guitteriez, that the test is on 10th grade reading and writing and 8th grade math. Mr. Swarchinegro, I am in the 12th grade! What i do In the 8th and 10th grade is not revelant.

Mr. Schwartchinogro, my parents came to this country for a better life, not a chance to prove themselves. When we are a country that have difficult issue like immigraton and unjustice, what purpose is the standerdize test. There are only one purpose--to be rasist!

Mitter Sfarzenioagra, when the people who own the standerdize test told me i didn’t win and wont be able to gradate, i cried. Misty Sccharneegre, Can you imagine being a 18-year old Latina girl who cannot wear her prety dress to the gradation parade?

I spent all of tweflth grade fixing my hair for this big day and now because of a rasist test no boys will see my hair on gradation night! And becuase why? Becuase I dont know how many sides a pentagon has? So what! I am NOT A PENTAGON! I AM A LATINA!

Evan though I have not past the standerdize test, I am still prety. Prety enough to gradate! But becuase of rasist test, i cannot feel prety today.

Mishertier Sccorachoinoggeregger, as the presedent of cafilornia i am sure you know abot rasism. woud you have all you have if you had to take a standerdize test ? What if a techer told you “you cannot ware a prety dress and fix your hair prety and go meet boys?” You wold probbably do what I did--fall on the couch and bust yuor jaw open.

We are suing the world becuase of this rasistm. How can you except children to do good in shool when you test them. On what? Rasism!

Mikohotofter sChwooriniazeonriegoiriegger, On the top of everthing esle, this “qote” standerdize test is not evan in my navite langage. You wold’nt ask a conditoner to be a shapmoo. what wil i do with my prety hair.

Pleas misintitoerer sochrwarronoeazeoraeorgggnienzeaerrearer, help me get to gardutaion.

Scinerly, Liliana Valenzuela

Dear Ms. Valenzuela,

Thank you for writing and for the enclosed photographs. Yes, you are a young and beautiful Latina who will one day blossom into a glorious Spanish rose.

For a delicate and feminine young lady, however, you’ve got quite some balls.

As I understand your letter, you would like me to intervene and singlehandedly obliterate our already vastly withering educational system so that you can put on a cap and gown and mince around like a slut.

Trust me, Ms. Valenzuela, all this can be achieved in this country without either passing a standardized test or possessing a diploma. That is one of the many things that make our country great--the freedom to be a worthless whore.

Every year, I’ve been dumping wheelbarrows full of money into schools just like yours and from what I’ve observed, the administrators have used that money to buy newer, more sparkly computers. Unfortunately, given the tone of your letter, it appears that the school has yet to purchase a computer capable of teaching students how to learn without computers. Not to mention the concepts of personal responsibility, aspiring to excellence, and reading and writing.

I guess we should wheel in some more money until that time comes.

As far as the accusations that the standardized tests are racist, there’s an old Spanish saying that I’m sure you’re familiar with--”Go fuck yourself.” There, NOW you’re a victim.

Most sincerely,
Arturo Luis Guzman,
Special educational consul to Governor Schwarzenegger