Yes, for some time now I have been wondering why it is that I cannot seem to get a date with a pretty girl in New York City.
Today, the answer was revealed to me, quite by accident, when I happened to stumble across a piece of polished obsidian stone dating from around 6000 BC.
The smooth, reflective surface of the stone revealed to me something I had not known up to this point: I am ugly!
It all makes sense now!
I am SO relieved that it has nothing to do with my personality!
Thank god! I am just a creepy-looking, tall, skinny, long-haired guy with a weird face.
Yes! There just might be hope for me after all! If I can only alter my physical appearance, the pretty girls will come flocking, one and all, to my attractive personality!
And then I won't be lonely anymore!
Gosh! Life is easier than I thought!
