Saturday, December 22, 2007
You have been selected to join an elite organization called
THE FEELINGS BRIGADE!
Perhaps you've heard of us. We've heard of you.
You're disenfranchised. Nobody knows your plight. You're all alone.
THE FEELINGS BRIGADE IS A GLOBAL COMMUNITY of almost 6 billion members worldwide!
We're all united by our COMMON FEELINGS. . .!
So we're not really an elite organization after all. This letter is a mere formality. You've been a member of The Feelings Brigade since the day you were born.
You cried when the doctor spanked you.
You got nervous when you asked the girl to dance.
You were really paranoid right before opening this letter. (and still might be!)
In some way or another, you've always had feelings. There's no escaping induction into The Feelings Brigade. Everyone's a member. For life.
So now you know. . .
You're nothing special at all. . .
OR ARE YOU?
Congratulations for reading this far into the letter.
You've actually been invited to join an elite organization called The Facts Brigade
We're extremely elite, so I doubt you've heard of us. However, we had never heard of you until your recent accomplishment in the field of political sociology:
We were very impressed.
You are definitely the kind of person we like. A distinct individual of merit.
There is a fox hunt this Boxing Day. Afterwards, we will away to the sitting room and demean certain groups of people.
The Big Three
Posted by Will Franken at 10:30 PM