LETTERS FROM THE "COMMUNITY"

5th Notice

Dear Mr. Cosby,

This letter is to notify you that as of this October, our records
indicate that you still have not given back to the black community.

Your outstanding balance for the year of 2006, adjusted for your
recent honorary PhD and continued presence in the white-controlled
media, is $545,195.16. This balance must be paid in full in order to
build another rec center with a basketball court.

If the above amount is not paid in full by the end of November, our
legal department will be forced to call you an Uncle Tom.

Sincerely,

The Black Community



Dear Mr. Diddy,

This is to thank you for your recent gift of 200 computers to P.S. 123
Adam Clayton Powell Junior High School in Harlem.

Our school is improving daily. By next year, we hope to have teachers.

Sincerely,

The Black Community



Dear Mr. Sharpton,

Thank you for your rececnt inquiry into the case of the brother on
death row. Rest assured he does still have dreadlocks and is comparing
himself to Ghandi.

As to your other concern, yes, in lieu of money to his defense fund,
we will accept rhetoric.

Sincerely,

The Black Community



Dear Mr. Bonds,

I wonder if instead of "steroid abuse," we may begin using the term
"white supremacy"? Hopefully, this will work to remove all asteriks
from the record books.

Sincerely,

The Black Community

Where Are They Now?

THE YEAR IN REVIEW

I) LARRY SUMMERS

My name is Larry Summers. A long time ago, I used to be the president of Harvard. But, boy, did I fuck up.

Last year, in case you don't remember, I made the comment that males
and females had different genitalia. This statement met with quite a
bit of controversy from some of the greatest pioneers in the feminist
sciences.

For example:

Denice "Big Balls" Denton - Chancellor of UC Santa Cruz before
her hysterical plunge 42 stories from the top of a very phallic
building to her beloved mother earth below - wrote in her final essay,
"Women and Men Think Differently And I Am A Woman And I Wrote This All
By Myself":

". . . Larry Summers has no right to talk about women because anybody
who is not a woman doesn?t know anything about women even if they have
a wife or a mother . . ."

Louann Brizendine's book The Female Brain, in which she suggests that
the female brain is shaped like a little pony with a pink tail and
purple ribbons and the male brain is shaped like a Corvette, suggests
in her postscript:

". . .Larry Summers reminds me of my father. And my dad never believed
in me. But you know what, Dad? I'm making it on my own. And I'm a
woman. I'm talented, Dad. A talented woman! I wrote a whole book!"

I realize now that as a male, every word that comes out of my mouth
wreaks untold amounts of death and destruction for all women. My words
have been Katrina to the New Orleans of women. I am a tsunami in a
three-piece suit.

I have single-handedly set women back centuries. Thanks to my ignorant
comments, the modern Western female is now no better off than women
under Islam. Oops. . . I mean . . .

Oh, fuck. I probably just got a bunch of female nuns killed. I better
shut up now . . .