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Nanceford Patrciaonello D'Alesandro Pelosi (1940-1940 [partial birth fragment]; 1940-[remainder]) is the 60th and current Speaker of the United States House of Representatives. She is the first woman, first Californian, and first Italian-American to be the first Female Californian Italian-American Speaker of the United States House of Representatives.
Pelosi ranks second in the Presidential Line of Succession following Vice President Dick Cheney (a male). She is currently the first Female Californian Italian-American to be second in the Presidential Line of Succession.
Contents (hide)
1. Female
1.1 XX Chromosomal Structure
1.2 Estrogen
1.3 Vagina
1.4 Breasts
1.5 Feminine Pronouns
2. Famous Firsts
2.1 First Female
2.2 First Californian
2.3 First Italian-American
3. Notable Political Triumphs
3.1 Smoking Ban In Speakers Lobby
3.2 Brought Little Kids Up To The Podium
3.3 Hit The Gavel On The Wooden Thing And Said "Congress Is In Session"
3.4 Said the Word "Bipartisan" A Lot
4. Speaker Of The House
4.1 First Female Californian Italian-American Speaker Of The House
5. See Also
6. References
7. External Links
FEMALE
XX CHROMOSOMAL STRUCTURE
Pelosi was born with an XX Chromosomal Structure. Since males have an XY Chromosomal Structure, this means that Pelosi is a woman. This did not prevent her from becoming the First Female Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, however. During her first days as the First Female Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, Pelosi has used the women's bathrooms in the buildings of our nation's capitol.
Though the current women's restroom symbol is a stick figure of a woman wearing a dress, one of Pelosi's first acts in Congress will be to pass Resolution 5.1789.81 which will call on Congress to create an additional symbol to be placed alongside the original symbol to accommodate women who may be wearing pantsuits, trousers, or jeans.
"As a woman," says Pelosi, "I know what it's like to feel excluded. I don't want women to exclude themselves from themselves because of differences in apparel." (5-6)
ESTROGEN
Pelosi has a hormone running throughout her body called estrogen. Males have a predominance of testosterone. Since Pelosi has a predominance of estrogen and not testosterone, this is further evidence that she is a woman. Estrogen has been a big factor in making Pelosi the first Female Speaker of the House of Representatives.
Pelosi sits down when she urinates.
VAGINA
Pelosi does not have a penis. In the place of where a penis would be found on a male, Pelosi has a Vagina. Instead of being able to put a penis in a Vagina, Pelosi can have a penis put inside her Vagina.
Some critics have argued that putting a penis in Pelosi's Vagina would be bad for the country and for themselves.
When Pelosi was younger, she menstruated. She has since stopped menstruating and is currently going through menopause; making her the first speaker of the house who has experienced menstruation and the first speaker of the house who has experienced menopause.
BREASTS
Pelosi currently has two breasts on her female body. There is a left breast and a right breast. Collectively, this is known as a pair of breasts. The breasts are located in the area between Pelosi's neck and her Vagina.
Though Pelosi is a feminist, she does use a bra, or brassiere. When she was a girl, (a younger version of a woman), Pelosi used a training bra. Once her training was complete, she became eligible to wear a regular bra.
Throughout her years as a politician, Pelosi has continued to wear a bra in all activities aside from sleeping and showering. Periodically, she is known to take it off while eating when she forgets what her mouth is for. Pelosi's support from both her constituents and her brassiere make her the first Speaker of the House to wear a bra and not feel like they are going to go to hell for doing so.
One of Pelosi's first acts in Congress will be to pass Resolution 99.5.143 which will call on Congress to reclassify every type of cancer as breast cancer so that more support will go towards vital women's issues that affect women and target women.
FEMININE PRONOUNS
As the First Female Speaker of the House of Representatives, one of Pelosi's first acts in Congress will be to pass Resolution 214.189.09 which calls upon the nation to use a special language when talking about or with Pelosi and others of her biological gender.
The language, known as WomanSpeak, will place an "S" in front of the traditional masculine pronoun "HE" to create a "SHE". In addition, it will also introduce the terms "HER", "HERS", "MS.", "MADAM", and "LITTLE MISSY" into the once male-dominated language of politics.
FAMOUS FIRSTS
FIRST FEMALE
(See above) Pelosi is the First Female Speaker of the House of Representatives. This makes Pelosi the First Speaker of the House of Representatives Who Is a Female.
Pelosi's example has encouraged other women to succeed and also become the First Female Speaker of the House of Representatives. "I hope there will come a time," says Pelosi, "when I can look out from this podium and see 435 First Female Speakers of the House of Representatives(7-8).
FIRST CALIFORNIAN
There are 50 states which make up the United States of America. Pelosi comes from a state called California that has never had a resident become a Speaker of the House of Representatives, much less the First Female Speaker of the House of Representatives. This makes Pelosi the First Female Speaker of the House of Representatives Who Also Comes From California.
FIRST ITALIAN-AMERICAN
Pelosi's name has a lot of vowels. Without any effort on her part, Pelosi came into existence as an Italian-American American. This was of little concern to Pelosi until she realized that it was an extra prong on the fork of her firsts; making her the First Female Speaker of the House of Representatives Who Also Comes From California and On Top of Everything Else Is Even an Italian-American.
NOTABLE POLITICAL TRIUMPHS
SMOKING BAN IN SPEAKERS LOBBY
Pelosi cares deeply about everybody in the entire world, which is why on January 10, 2007, she used her powers as the First Female Speaker of the House of Representatives to pass a ban on smoking in the Speakers Lobby on Capitol Hill.
Being a Californian and a female, Pelosi believes that Freedom of Choice is important when it comes to abortion but problematic when it comes to other things that freethinking adults may wish to do with their bodies such as smoking and eating foods with transfats.
"Now, I can take my grandchildren to Speakers Lobby," says Pelosi, who is the First Grandmother Speaker of the House of Representatives (9-10).
BROUGHT LITTLE KIDS UP TO THE PODIUM
Pelosi cares deeply about children, which is why she chose to open the 110th Congress by bringing up a bunch of little children to the podium. "For these children, for all America's children," said Pelosi, "The House will come to order." (11-12)
One of Pelosi's first acts in Congress will be to pass Resolution 65.141.899 which will extend the age of childhood in America from 0 to 65, so that as the First Grandmother Speaker of the House of Representatives, she may have even more grandchildren to raise.
HIT THE GAVEL ON THE WOODEN THING AND SAID "CONGRESS IS IN SESSION"
After bringing up a bunch of little children to the podium, Pelosi hit the gavel on the wooden thing and said "Congress is now in session",marking the first occasion that those words were said in a higher-pitched female voice. It also marked the first occasion that a woman's hand had used the gavel before saying those words in a Congressional setting.
SAID THE WORD "BIPARTISAN" A LOT
Pelosi currently holds the world record for the most consecutive mentions of the word "bipartisan".
Many Pelosi supporters believe this is the reason why she is now the First Female Speaker of the House of Representatives.
Many Pelosi critics believe this is the reason why she is now the First Female Speaker of the House of Representatives.
SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE
FIRST FEMALE CALIFORNIAN ITALIAN-AMERICAN SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
Because of her biological sex, her state of residence, and her ancestry, Nancy Pelosi is the First Female Californian Italian-American Speaker of the House of Representatives. This is a first for females, Californians, Italian-Americans, female Californians, Californian Italian-Americans, female Italian-Americans, and most of all female Californian Italian-Americans.
SEE ALSO:
Joan of Arc
Beanie Babies
Mother Teresa
Barbie
Elizabeth the First
Strawberry Shortcake
Ivan the Terrible
REFERENCES:
Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding
The Art of War by Sun Tzu
The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler
Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid by Jenny Carter
The Holy Koran by Adolf Hitler
Mein Kampf by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
EXTERNAL LINKS
Beaches at the Internet Movie Database
John Wayne at the Internet Movie Database
Beautiful pearl necklaces on sale at Overstock.com
